The Secrets to a Fabulous Wedding Speech

Lawrence Bernstein is a friend of mine and he very kindly has written the following tips and techniques for preparing, writing and presenting the perfect wedding speech.  

"I have no doubt that your wedding is organised like clockwork; that you know what drinks and hors d’oeuvres will be served and when, what time the first dance will start, and what the groom will wear in his buttonhole.  But there tends to be a rather important area that barely gets a mention in the planning.  The speeches.  And they are often the first thing that a guest returning from your wedding will mention in answer to the question ‘How was it?’.

A great speech can make a wedding.  A bad one can waste valuable time and embarrass you and your guests.

I write speeches professionally.  Many of them are for nervous grooms, fathers of the bride and best men.  And so I am constantly being asked for the magical piece of advice that will help create a wedding speech that is memorable for all the right reasons.

Following these tips won’t turn you into an instant success, but they should help lay the groundwork for you:

Before the Speech

·   Don’t underestimate the importance of preparation

·   Decide on your preferred balance between sincerity and humour.  This is crucial as it sets the foundations for everything that you will do from this point on

·   Try to focus on a theme that will hold your speech together (this works particularly well for the Best Man Speech)

·   Create a ‘speech plan’ before you start writing the speech itself so you can see how the entire speech will flow before trying to write it

·   Be relevant

·   Write in short, sharp sentences

·   Leave lots of spaces for pauses

·   Keep it inside ten minutes

·   Print out a spare copy

·   Rehearse it out loud and standing up to ensure that this doesn’t throw you on the day

·   Edit out the awkward bits that just don’t work while you are practising

On the day:

·   Don’t try and re-write the speech on the day itself; if it’s not right by now it never will be!

·   Take a deep breath before you start to release your nerves

·   Read from the same cards / paper that you’ve used in practise

·   Don’t drink too much

·   Speak slowly

·   Look around

·   Emphasise key words

·   Speak into the microphone

·   Try to enjoy it!

I appreciate that this isn’t rocket science and that much of the skill required fits into the writing itself.  But I hope this nudges you in the right direction.  I am always delighted to discuss any element of your speech and my blog is regularly updated with new articles and advice: www.greatspeechwriting.co.uk

You can also call me on +44 20 8245 8999 if you’d like me to get more directly involved in creating something really special for you.

Good luck!"

How to Walk in High Heels Like a Pro

The question that most females ask me is how do I walk in high heels like a pro?   Walking in high heels is so much easier than you think.  The secret is practice…lots of it!  But before you start practicing, getting the foundation right is so important.  The first step is to get the right size shoe for your foot.  I know that’s obvious…but is it?  Sometimes we fall in love with a pair of shoes and squeeze our feet in even though they are obviously too small or they flap about because they are too big…either way you will never be able to walk in them properly, so don’t waste your money.   So try them on.  Do not buy wedding shoes over the internet unless you have been able to try on the exact same style in a shoe store beforehand.  This is the not the time to scrimp and save on your shoes.  Your feet will not thank you and as I'm sure you know, if your feet hurt it can effect the rest of your well-being! 

You see, walking like a pro in high heels is all about balance…and practice!  The shoe must fit perfectly.  The arch of your foot must sit comfortably in the shank of the shoe, which is the part that curves between the toe and the heel.  If the shoe doesn’t fit, your arch will not sit in the shank properly and your balance will be off and this could lead to disaster and a lot of pain in your feet. 

Here is the big secret to walking like a pro in high heels…are you ready?  Wear them everyday for about 15-30 minutes.  That’s it.  I said it was easier than you thought.  Our muscles have something called muscle memory and we can change the memory of our muscles if we do something differently for about 30 days or more so if you practice walking in high heels everyday or as much as you can, the heels will begin to feel like they are just an extension of your foot.  When you put them on, your muscles will begin to adapt to the shape of the shoe and ‘know’ what to do. 

Do  you remember when you were first learning to ride a bike?  You probably fell off the bike several times and felt a bit clumsy and uncoordinated but you kept going until you got it right.  No one was born knowing how to ride a bike or wear high heels so keep practicing and it will become second nature.

But before we go any further, I would like to show you various types of high heels and explain how easy or difficult they are to wear.

This silver 'court' or stiletto shoe with a pointed toe can be the most uncomfortable shoe to wear.  It is very high and your foot will be shunted to the front of the shoe which is pointed.  Therefore your 5 toes will be crammed into a small and unnaturally shaped space.  I suggest that you buy a shoe like this a half size larger than your normal size so that your feet have somewhere to go in the shoe!

The shoe on the right is a similar shoe to the court shoe above but will be much more comfortable to wear as it has a 'peep toe' and therefore your toes will have room to breathe and expand.  This is very important as you will be on your feet for a long time and your feet will swell.  If your wedding is during your menstrual cycle, your feet will swell even more.

The shoes on the left may look comfortable but they are very difficult to wear as they have no support.  It is a strappy sandal and looks very sexy on the feet but if you are not used to walking in high heels, your feet will slip from side to side. So practice wearing them...it will pay off!  

Believe it or not, the shoe on the right can be an extremely comfortable high heel to wear as it has a platform and the platform actually lifts the front of the foot so the ratio between the front of the foot and the back of the foot is less than with the court shoe above.  This can be a great shoe to wear if you want height but not the discomfort.  

If you have fleshy or wide feet and want a beautiful shoe that may not come in a wide width, this is the shoe for you.  It has all the elegance of a court shoe but gives you the openness on either side of the shoe for your feet to spill over a bit.  And if you find a shoe like this with a peep toe, it will be even more comfortable for your expanding feet for the long day ahead.

And finally, the shoe on the right is what is sometimes called a 'mule', it looks like an elegant, pointed toe court shoe from the front but is completely open at the back so your feet can breathe and expand as much as they like!  It is an especially good shoe under a long dress with a train because you will see the front of the shoe but not the back and no one will know that you have a mule on.

There are many more types of shoes and not enough space to include them so I have focussed on high heels as they are the most difficult shoes to master but as I said above...practice, practice, practice.  

The last but most important tip is to NEVER wear a new pair of high heels for the first time on your wedding day.  I know you want to keep them pristine in their box or shoe bag but you will regret it.  If you don't want to practice in them for weeks beforehand then buy a cheaper, similar pair of shoes to practice in.  Then the week before the wedding, wear your wedding shoes for a short period of time every day. Take an old pair of tights and cut them off so that they cover each shoe to protect them from dust and dirt and then get on with your chores, until you forget about them and they feel very comfortable.  It is good to wear in the sole of the shoe so that when you wear them on your big day, you don't slip.  Before any fashion show, designers scratch the sole of the high heels or tape over them to create a bit of traction so that the model does not slip or fall.  

High heels are great and can make your legs look longer and make you look taller but only if they fit properly and you walk tall with good posture!

A Designer's View on Buying the Perfect Wedding Dress.

"When choosing a wedding dress I would say the most important piece of advice I can offer is to have fun and enjoy the time you spend choosing your wedding dress. As this is the dress you are wearing for the most special day of your life, it is meant to be the best experience you have shopping EVER, and if it isn't, then go somewhere where it is.

Secondly, I would stick to your budget. It avoids disappointment during this fun period of shopping. There are beautiful gowns out there at every price

Also, I would offer that a good sales person or designer would give you a decent consultation over Champagne or Tea to really discuss what you are looking for and offer suggestions before you start even trying dresses on.

I believe brides have had an idea of their perfect gown in their minds from a very young age, and certainly once engaged they put a lot of research into looking for dresses. It is a store’s or designer’s job to make sure it is the right dress for them, tweaking here, advising on more flattering silhouettes there, adding flowers or bows here and so on. For example the bespoke arena where I work, and with my collection, I hope the designs serve as more of a spring-board or showcase of ideas and the endless possibilities that are open out there for every bride.

You should never be rushed or bullied around or feel uncomfortable in any way. Having said that, if you are comfortable with the sales person or designer, I would then offer the advice to listen to what they suggest. They may come up with something that you would never have thought of and it turns out to be amazing. They have helped many brides and the good ones have a wealth of knowledge.

Now I hope that all my comments above are taken positively, but honestly, what could be the most expensive garment purchase you ever make should also come with the best experience.

On a more practical level, I say that a bride needs to consider her body type in shopping for a wedding dress. Most brides already know their own body types and what suits them the most, but don’t be afraid to try a few gowns on as an affirmation of what suits you best. Pretty much every issue of every bridal magazine or website always has a ‘what type of dress is right for your body type’ section and as part of a brides research she should be well aware of it. But again, a good sales person or designer may be able to offer alternatives. You need to consider height, weight, body proportion, anything you especially would like to conceal, is there anything you would especially like to show off? A long neck? Beautiful arms? Wedding dresses are perfect examples of clothes that can both conceal and enhance at the same time.

You shouldn’t spend all day pulling your dress up if it is strapless. That means it either doesn’t fit, or plainly just that you are not used to wearing strapless. All of my strapless gowns for example already come with a bridal corset inside, so: a) you get part of your trousseau with the dress, and b) it forms the foundation for a strapless style constructed over it. If you are not used to strapless, then perhaps cap sleeves or something else is better for you.

Consider how long you are going to be wearing the dress. If it is all day, then will you need one with a bustle so you are able to dance later?

The weather is a factor even, even which shade of white or ivory or colour that works best with your skin tone.

One thing also about fabrics, do you remember when Princess Diana got out of the carriage when she married Prince Charles, her dress was creased to Heaven and back, so perhaps do a little scrunch test yourself, some fabrics naturally look creased, Silk dupion always does a little, it part of its charm. Duchesse satin holds itself very well, chiffon can look creased in a very short space of time, especially if you are sitting for a long time in the back of a car or at the reception, so try out different fabrics while you are shopping too. Anything slightly synthetic will,I hate to say, perform better than pure silk, that’s why they are made!

The train length is also important, it relates back to the kind of aisle you are walking down, to what type of veil you are having. Also remember that for most of the service people are going to be looking at your back. So gowns with back interest are always appropriate, beading or lace on the hem of the skirt, bows or flowers. But then, pretty much all of the wedding photographs are going to be of the front of the dress, so again consider ornamentation. Beware though of over-gilding the lilly. There is no need to have a heavily encrusted bodice all the way up to your bust if you are going to be wearing a lot of jewellery that would make for a very visually busy décolleté.

Also, when you buy an off the rack style or semi bespoke, there are often massive alteration charges that sometimes negate the original price tag, which are all included when you go bespoke. Certainly for a bespoke company like mine, a lot of the actual cost comes through fabrics and the amount of handwork that physically goes into a dress. If you are buying fabric at £95 a meter and a dress needs 10 meters then it quickly mounts. Team that with £5 tulle, but you need 150 meters of it, in an underskirt that takes 40 hours to make at £35 an hour you can begin to understand the complexities of cost in this arena. But that's not to say that custom needs to cost the earth. Personally I think a simple dress with a £20,000 price tag on it just because it is in this store or by that designer is pointless, and especially now brides at all levels of the market are understanding cost to value ratios. If you buy a £500 dress for example, make it a simple design, as a £500 dress covered in lace, heavily embroidered and beaded with a cathedral length train is more likely to look like a rag as there are too many expensive elements that should cost more, that you really are buying poor workmanship, even if the design is the best ever. And similarly, why bother buying a simple dress for £20,000, throw it all on!

Finally, my last piece of advice is to shop within your budget and be aware of extra costs like alterations. You commit to a dress months in advance and deposits are not cheap. Also, when you have chosen the dress, STOP looking or you will drive yourself insane on top of the rest of the wedding planning, if you shop smartly, with the correct sales person you really shouldn't make a mistake. Also, remember whom the day is about. Your Fiancé and You. I believe each bride would have an idea of her Fiancés taste so will dress appropriately, but you are not dressing for your mother or mother in law to be, so the dress should reflect you not them."

Jeremy Brandrick

Jeremy is a friend of mine and he lives and designs in New York although his bridal dresses will soon be available in the UK.  He has a 2 page spread in the April/May issue of Cosmo Bride.  Have a look at his website.   www.jeremybrandrick.com

The Catwalk of Your Life...

The other day I was thinking about my time as a catwalk model and how, in those days, each designer fashion show had a bridal finale. No matter what the collection was like, it culminated in a bridal dress finishing the show and every model vied for the opportunity to be the bride as it was literally the icing on the cake of the show. It would be the most beautiful, the most expensive and most coveted dress in the show and it was the ultimate compliment to be chosen as you were inevitably photographed with the designer as you escorted him or her off the catwalk after their curtain call.

I had the good fortune to be a bride in many fashion shows and it made me think what it must feel like on a bride’s wedding day to have that experience for the first, and hopefully last, time! How many women wear a long dress, high heels, a veil, carry a bouquet and have the eyes of their friends and family on them down the aisle and the rest of the day? The bride is the star of the show just like a designer catwalk show and she, above anyone else, wants to glide down the aisle seamlessly with confidence, elegance and great posture. But where do you go to get this kind of advice?

Well, I’ve spent years being a model and years training young girls who want to be a model and I thought brides to be are under even more pressure than young models to look great in their wedding gown, heels, veil, with cameras coming at them from every angle throughout the whole day. This is a lot of pressure for someone who may not have worn heels and a long dress before. Even models who have done a bit of modelling would struggle with this kind of pressure with the eyes of friends and family watching their every move. Then you have to pose for the photos and look at them for the rest of your life…whether you like them or not! What you may not realise is that you have quite a bit of control over the outcome of your photos if you know a few simple techniques of the professionals. It can make all the difference between a good photo and an awful one and if you know your best angle, you can offer that up to the photographer instead of the photographer trying to find it for you, under pressure with time constraints and hungry guests.

So, instead of having the same kind of hen party, invite me to spend a couple hours with you and your bridesmaids and girlfriends. We will learn how to walk in high heels elegantly and without pain, how to pose for the camera, techniques for staying calm no matter what goes wrong and how to enjoy every moment of your special day. We will have a lot of laughs, learn lots and you will go home feeling and looking better with no headache in the morning!

www.thebridalcoach.co.uk